Your Favorite Condement!



They started with seven

And then there was five

And then there was three

And then there was one

One boy sitting in a grocery store on a Sunday, a Sunday that football was being played on, which required sitting on a couch to watch.

But he wasn't sitting on that couch. He was sitting in a grocery store, next to the Starbucks Frappuccino section, writing down in a journal that would eventually be a waste of a time for a lot of people who wouldn't be able to stop reading.

Point

Point

I need a point

I'll find it...

Keep writing...

I was asked to come display my artwork in a Scottsdale grocery store to try and raise money for MDA. Along with six other artist, we were to set up shop, and the rest would take care of itself.

Scottsdale

One of the richest per capita cities in America.

I was going to make bank.

But that was then, and this is now, reflection time.

The other artist have left. So I am here alone to ponder.

Just me and my tower of Starbucks, my castle of coffee, my fortress of caffeine. We are like peas in a pod...Actually we are more like a boy and a beverage, but that is not a popular cliche saying.

Maybe it should be.

Mary and Dan are like a boy and a beverage.

Oh shit I'm getting off track, always off track.

Anyways the amount of prints that I sold was 45+7-15-6+4-8+12-9+5+8-35-1+9+5-21. And in case you are no good at math, it's fucking ZERO.

I guess it didn't register at the time that trying to sell people art in a grocery store is about one of the worst places to accomplish that goal. People are just to caught up in buying there Oreos and DiGiorno Pizza to stop and look.

I pretty much felt like a nuisance on their life trying to sell MDA raffle tickets.

A Terrorist to their shopping list.

BTW DiGiorno, You're right, It's not fucking delivery, otherwise someone would enjoy your product sometime.

I'm not really angry or anything at them, I just wish they were more like you all reading this and cared a bit more. I'm looking at this old bitch pass me right now, and she gives my booth the eye, and ooooooooo ahhhhh very pretty, ok continuing on, Isle 16, ok someone check it in thirty seconds.

Make sure she can find the soup she is looking for.

Make sure she doesn't fall and break her fibula.

Make sure she doesn't die.

I am planning to go take pictures after this little charade, the weather is just fucking nasty as shit. Which is perfect. Because nasty equals opportunity, and opportunity equals something that I can't quite put my finger on, but know is important to have my finger in the general vicinity.

But that is about an hour away. What to do.

I am going to kill time by flirting with the Jamba Juice girl.

And by flirting I mean not talking to her and acting like a completely normal customer.

Yea, it doesn't work, but my technique is flawless.

She gives me a free Pomegranate berry thingie, she is totally into me, and my free Jamba juice card has nothing to do with it.

(Break)

That break was about twenty minutes long, I sat down and forgot my pen on the booth stand. So I stared at it for about 19 minutes trying to figure out what the hell I'm going to say if I pick it back up.

I figured it out.

This is what I'm going to say.

The guy who was running this whole shindig was named Fred G. He is a very nice guy, and is totally into my photography. Which I am very grateful for. He and I were sitting around my booth and a lady asked about some photos. Fred said that my photography could be described like the show "Six Feet Under". As to what that means, no clue, but I love the show so I'll take it. I then said something that made myself giggle, which was this.

"Actually I would describe it more like a Condiment.

Because I can be Warm or I can be Cold, but either way I'm gonna taste good."

Hopefully I am not the only one giggling at this, that would be a travesty, that would be an injustice.

Do you support Injustice? I would hope not.

But back to the point. Did I find a point yet? Are you still reading?

Of course your fucking reading.

And this is the point.

Don't sell art in a grocery store.

I'm going to take pictures now. Nasty Dirty pictures. Look at dem clouds, Zzzomg they are all cloudy and what not.

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Side note Section

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- Whatever that girl made me at Jamba Juice was amazing.

- My plan to make a Wiki IMBD page has failed miserably. Someone pointed out something funny to me. Wikipedia apparently does not think that I think I am relative.

- The whole world reads my Journal now, including your mother and her best friends therapist. This has produced interesting situations.

- We reached the goal of 500 comments on the last journal. Thank you to everyone who took part in that grueling accomplishment. I could give less a fuck how many this journal gets. Probably 7.

- The pictures I went a took came out really awesome. I look at them myself as a three piece nature set. The title of all three combined is "These Three Were My Aid When I Needed Consolation"

Good pictures calm me down when sad...

- I need something to eat. I am going to stop typing in about 45 seconds. Hope you all have a good week. See you next time woot!

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