Pseudonym For Failure.

M- "You know what they say, third times a charm."

C- "But your on like number fifteen duder."

M- "Bro, listen don't worry. This one is a lock."

C- "You say that every time. Every time it's a lock. Are you sure you know the definition of Lock?

Lets see here the dictionary says-

1. A device for securing a door, gate, lid, drawer, or the like in position when closed, consisting of a bolt or system of bolts propelled and withdrawn by a mechanism operated by a key, dial, etc."

M- "So do I need the key? Or am I the mechanism?"

C- "What?"

M- "....What?"

C- "You're going to fuck it up. I bet I could get you in there if you let me talk to her, pretending to be you."

M- "You're going to pretend to be me?"

C- "We'll sort of. I mean she'll think I'm you. But if I was you, then we would get no where, so I'll be me under the pseudonym of you. And she'll like you more."

M- "You'll be you, and she will think it's me."

C- " Yes.."

M- "Ok, but don't do anything crazy."

C- "For this to work, I have to do what must be done, and although the realm of crazy will probably not fall in there, you might not like some of what goes on."

M- "We'll I really don't care. I mean, I care. But I don't care care . So do what you must."

C- "Ok, give me your phone."

--FAST FORWARD INTO THE FUTURE. FIVE MINUTES INTO THE FUTURE. WE DO HAVE FLYING CARS NOW BTW, BUT BACK TO THE STORY.--

M- "What did you say, let me see."

C- "No, not until I get an answer."

M- "What the hell did you say!"

C- "Just go back inside. And sit the fuck down."

M- "Arrrrggg, fine."

--Fast Forward- 5 Minutes--

C- (Walks Inside) "Ok bro you gotta go, take my car, she said she'll stay up for 15 minutes."

M- "Really! What did you say!"

C- "YOU HAVE TO GO, now."

M- "What did you say?"

C- "Here are my keys, go."

--Fast Foward- 30 seconds--

C- (walks out to driveway) "What the fuck are you doing, go already."

M- "How do you reverse in stick shift?"

C- "Dude! You drive my car all the time. Are you retarded?"

M- "I forget man. Wait, wait, I think I got it. Ok going."

--Fast Forward- Three Hours--

M- (On the way out the door of the "Lock") "So I wanted to ask you something."

Girl- "Sure."

M- "I don't want to be confused with you or anything, I just want to know if you like me as a friend kinda thing, or if you like me like me."

Girl- "As a friend."

M- "What?"

Girl- "A friend, that other area will be covered soon. But you're my homeboy."

M- "Oh ok, well I had fun, I'll talk to you tomorrow."

Girl- "Ok see ya!"

--Fast Forward- One Minute--

M- (Driving Home) "Jesus fucking Christ on the cross with a spear still in his side."

--Fast Forward- Next Morning--

C- "Hey man, how did it go? Oh wow, you shaved your beard, why did you do that?"

M- "Well it was to protect me from liking girls, and it was malfunctioning. So since I was not living the principle of the beard of protection, I decided that it should go."

C- "Did you fuck it up?"

M- "I asked her and she said friends."

C- "Well you're a friendly guy."

M- "Apparently so."

C- "I wish you wouldn't of shaved your beard off though."

M- "Thanks."

C- "I felt a lot better in public with you when you had it. Like I could go into a biker bar and people wouldn't mess with us."

M- "Well I'm done with girls, maybe I'll grow it back."

C- "Yea right. It's a new person every week, and there will be another like...later today. Frankly I'm tired of hearing it, I hope you just get laid soon."

M- "Well I'll have to let you do all my talking from now on. Maybe I'll just let you go as me also, and if you can get somewhere, then I can feel like it was me in some form."

C- "I could do that."

--Fast Forward- Later That Day--

New Girl- "Like Omg, you are so good at photography. Like Omg, you must be a totally awesome person. Like Omg, I sooo want to meet you. Like Omg, can you take pictures of me? Like Omg, you are such a funny person. Like Omg, we need to hang out."

M- "Sounds good to me."


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That was my life in repeat every week. Hope you liked it!