Conjunction Juntion, what the fucks my Function?

Tuesday-

As I am writing this I am on my way to Mexico. I am on my way to Mexico because my life has no structure.

A friend asked me if I wanted to go. I checked my schedule...Blank pages. So I am on my way to Mexico.

There are four of us on this adventure. And these are our trip functions.

TK- Funds / Style / Grace / Attitude

Mckay- Comedic Relief / Funds / Documentation.

V- Hot / Girl.

Jose- Funds / Guide.

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As you can see my role is split into three parts, all equally being important and vital to the success of this endeavor.

I provide ample laughter and not because I tell jokes, but because I am me. And if you knew me(Which you don't) then you would understand just by being in my presence for a day you learn just how weird I can be, and just how humorous that is to you.

I always thought I would be a good comedian.

My Ex used to tell me I didn't know what I was talking about and that it was not a good idea. I'm pretty sure it's one of the reasons she loved me though. That bitch didn't know what she was talking about.

She wasn't really a bitch either, I just said that so the sentence would be funny. Because if the sentence is funny, then my journal will be good, if my journal is good then you'll read it more, if you read it more you'll think I'm a good artist, if you think I'm a good artist you'll visit my page, and from that I'll get page views.

And my life revolves around page views...

Not really.

But seriously it does.

ANYWAYS, I'm way off track yea?

So I'm on my way to Mexico.

To be funny, take pictures, and give TK money when he says the line "Macky, I need money."

I do wish we were passing threw Tuscon to get there, so I could go kidnap :iconjessmarie:. I asked her if she would like to take some pictures. What I really meant was... Would you like to take pictures, get married, have hot passionate sex and produce uber artistic offspring that will dominate the photography world and DA.

Naturally I was reeking of desperation, and so naturally she ignored me.

I guess she thought I was your typical boy.

I guess in the end that's all I really am.

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Here are some things that might tell you that you are a White Ignorant American named Mckay wearing a sailfish hat entering Mexico for the first time.

-You walk into a gas station and say out loud "Where are the fucking Kit-Kats?

-You drive right pass the first read Octagon you see instead of obeying the traffic rule, because it says "Alto" instead of "Stop". While saying "That stop sign says fucking Alto!"

-You purchase Mexican beef jerky(horrible decision, but I am full of those) and she hands you like 17,000 back in change instead of three American dollars. And for a minute you think it's your lucky day and just got a lot of money bi-accident.

I am going to die here.

Wednesday-

I am drunk.

What time is it?

I don't know, V hid all the clocks. Apparently a rule in Mexico is to not know what time it is at all times.

This rule sucks, I am drunk, and I would like to know what time I am being drunk at.

If you know me(which you don't) then you would know that being drunk for me used to be a rare occasion, happening exactly ZERO times until I was 22. These days it's not so rare, but still rare enough to be funny.

When I am drunk I typically just talk more, and say funnier things. If you know me(Which you don't) Then me being funnier is kind of like you experiencing heaven. I will just ramble on anything, and sound very High.

Examples of actual conversation-

1.

Mckay "Thason, Old Spice needs to make a new line called Mexican Sweat."

Thason "I don't get what you mean."

Mckay "It doesn't work! It doesn't fucking work."

Jose "I just put on double as much."

Mckay "You are a genius Jose, If I was a girl I would flirt with you."

Jose "You already flirt with me."

2. I'm not sure why sandwiches taste better when cut into triangles, they really do though. I think it has something to do with the fact that more goes into your mouth at once, thereby hitting more taste buds at the same time. Or maybe it has to do with oxygen intake and your brain being able to process the texture of cheese better since you are more aware!!??!????

3.How come when someone says a greeting, and you respond back with the same greeting they think your being rude or sarcastic. You should never say Hello back to someone who says Hello to you, it comes off as pompous or unenthusiastic. You have to switch it up to Hey! or What's up? in order to seem like you actually care.

In my case, this is a difficulty.

I am drunk, I am timeless, I am in Mexico!

Thursday-

It's 8am and I'm back home. I actually got back home last night, but more people wanted me to come out and drink. so I went.

I am loved.

What a turn around from last year...........

But I'm sitting here finishing typing this out for your morning reading pleasure, and I am being spammed by people for different photography reasons. I find this very cool, and also very surreal. I need to keep this going, so I can go on more vacations, and write more journals. But I think I realized when I got back though that you can't really relax on vacation. All you think the whole time is "AM I RELAXING? I MUST RELAX!" which in turn leads to just not much of it. Only when your at home with absolutely nothing to do and no ambition for the time being can you settle down.

Q: So what is the lesson of this whole Journal entry?

A: Don't go anywhere, don't do anything, make sure you don't have a clock and some salt and vinegar pringles. You'll be relaxed and happy.

If you would like to see some regular photos from my week, which I KNOW you do, then I have created a nice little slide show of about 10 photos that are aside from the Deviations I will be uploading soon for you.

Click here to view regular pictures


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Ok this is aside from everything else above. I have created a Wikipedia article for I Must Be Dead.

This is very egotistical, and that is ok.

I have uploaded a minor amount of information, and will not edit it any further.

If you are not familiar with Wikipedia, it's basically an online Encyclopedia that anyone can edit. So you can go to the IMBD page, and pretty much say anything you want. Tell me I'm stupid, tell me I'm silly, tell or say anything you want about me. It's easy to sign up, and all you have to do is click edit this page when you are on the IMBD main page.

Which you can get to by clicking right Here

If this Journal does not reach 500 comments, I will come to your pages and personally slander you. The last one got 250, and in this one I have provided ample material for you to consider discussing with me.